Wednesday, February 29, 2012

What I'm Reading.

A big topic of conversation between Aaron and I is always interesting bits of news we found on the internet. We have always been very active in being informed on the happenings of the world so I thought I would share a few. While Aaron is usually sharing note-worthy information, I'm usually an advocate of the weird, quicky, healthy, or downright silly facts on the world wide web! I will probably continue posts like these once or twice a week.

Enjoy :)

1) The new types of women. This article talks about how women have changed over the past few decades and how ad agencies are no longer marketing their products to the stay at home housewife. It's neat to see how women have evolved. Are you an Indie Woman, A Mom Achiever, or an Aplha Goddess?

2) Anyone with a gym membership can tell you that there are always one or two stereotypes that irk the hell out of them during their workout. The pet peeves that top my list are those girls who come to the gym dolled up, full makeup and jewelry, and then walk on the treadmill at a 2.5 pace for 20 minutes. Really???? I also cannot stand 'those people' who sit on a machine for an hour on their cell phones. Honey I understand that talking to your boyfriend is an integral part of your gym experience, but some of us actually want to workout while we are here. GET OFF THE MACHINE. Enough ranting..just read the article. :)

3) How about a little sand with your Big Mac? Mcdonald's released this article recently discussing that they were removing a 'pink slime' ingredient from their foods. The article comes with a yummy picture of said slime that makes you re-consider running to the Golden Arches for lunch today. That article spurred an internet chain reaction of people investigating other products in the chain's ingredients list. It's no secret that fast food items are made of less than appetizing things, but some of them are downright scary. I'll step off my soapboax by saying that I for one enjoy a nice big greasy cheeseburger occasionally, but hold the pink slime. I found this article today that talks about a few other scary items lurking in your sand for instance.

4) Happy Leap Day! I had to include a leap day related article. Anyone seen the movie Leap Day? If not, let me summarize it for you. Girl is dating super successful hot wall street type who won't marry her, girl goes to Ireland to propose to said super successful wall street type, girl experiences expected issues along the way like flight cancellations, cows in the road, and mud on her Louis Vuittons, girl falls in love with super charming rugged and yet mildly dorky Irishman who has offered to help her get to her soon to be fiance. Fill in some arguing, bickering, and moments where wall street type proves he is a total loser, and wrap it up with a big fat Irish happy ending where girl and boy live happily ever after. This movie was basically an excuse to make a chick flick out of that age old Irish tradition where a woman can ask a man to marry her on the Leap Day and a man must say yes! So here is an article about this acutal history of the tradition.

Don't worry're safe today.

That's it for now! I'm off to chow down on some delicious chicken fettucini alfredo leftover from last nights dinner. Happy Leap Day everyone!

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

And speaking of pizza..

Doesn't my lunch look amazing?

I promise I'm not eating the whole thing.

Well..that's not the plan anyways.

The big bamboozle.

Deleting Facebook. Yep, I did it. I asked myself that age old 'stuck on an island question' and itemized the things I would want to bring with me if I could. Chapstick, Pink Sugar perfume, and veggie pizza all made high rankings, but ironically, Facebook wasn't among them. A journal and a pen were big items on the list. Writing has always been important to me. I can get lost in a blank page, and more times than not, it's the only way I work through my problems. I realized the only thing I liked about Facebook was the opportunity to put my voice out there, to express myself. And outside a selected few, most people don't care what anyone thinks beyond their own status. If I wanted the opportunity to write, then why not create a digital outlet just for that.

Facebook is a big culprit on my list of reasons for not being as productive as I should be. I'm too wired into it. If Aaron and I are at a restaurant and he leaves the table to use the restroom, I am fishing in my purse for my smart phone before his ass has barely left his chair. I'm too dependent on it, and for that my attention span has noticeably suffered. I use every available second checking it, and for what? I really do not honestly care what any of these people think, so why do I occupy so much of my time reading the news feed?
A lot of the time it angers me how fake people are. They use Facebook as a venue for showcasing perfect marriages, perfect jobs, and perfect lives, but behind the nice writing and the heavy handed use of photoshop, they are just as mediocre as the rest of us.

So I'm branching out, embracing mediocrity, and writing about the good, the bad, and the sometimes a little crazy. For those of you who choose to follow along, bless your heart. I hope my pictures of  weird food and the 8,000,000,000 million ridiculous rantings are enough to keep you coming back for more.

Welcome to Balanced Britt!

EDIT: I'm coming to terms with the fact that I am addicted to the internet. I got back on Facebook. Sue me.

Friday, February 10, 2012

It's a 10.0

Let me just preface this post by saying I am an emotional rollercoaster.

I have a grace period between 4 and 7 on the scale where I am mellow Brittany, anything outside that, I am crying. Very rarely is it because I am sad, because most of the time I am so ballisticaly happy that I can barely stand myself. Sometimes I wonder if I have a mental disorder, or if the good Lord blessed me with too much happy juju juice, but either way, I will take it! For some reason I react to just about everything in my life with tears. I cry at movies, I cry at songs on the radio, I cry at good news, and God forbid one of those Sara McLaughlin animal commercials comes on, because at that case I am useless the rest of the day.

Today on the way to work, I experienced a perfect storm of awesomeness. The sun was coming up right between the clouds, my Sara Bareilles Pandora station was playing the perfect tunes, I had a delicious iced coffee in my hand, my boobs looked great in my shirt (always a plus, right?) and it was Friday! I was mellow yellow, and taking it all in. I felt so peaceful, happy, and unbelievably grateful for my life that I just started bawling. I was blissfully satisified at that moment, and I couldn't help but let my emotions take over. The woman in the red Honda Civic who stared at me at the traffic light probably thought my boyfriend had just broken up with me, or that I had lost my job, but unbeknownst to her I was just, happy. My life isn't always easy, but it is always worth trying. Sometimes I have these moments where I itemize all the amazing things and my life and I feel like the luckiest girl in the world.

Being emotional can be really embarrassing at times. I can't tell you how many times we have had to sit in the car before going into a restaurant so I could clean up my makeup and get my act together. But today I realized something about my emotional routine, it's ok. It means I am experiencing something. It means I am feeling, and being an active part in my own world. Yea, sometimes crying all the time can be taxing but at the end of the day I know that I am not hiding anything and that I feel every moment in my life to the fullest.

It's all about balance remember?

Thursday, February 2, 2012

The big resolution.

I don't usually set New Year resolutions. I may be a to-do lister by nature, but resolutions just seem like too big of a commitment every year. I always way out-goal myself and set lofty challenges that I will never achieve, or that have no real benefit to my life. This year was different. This year I set out to make resolutions that are not only attainable, but that will actually reap great benefits for me as a person. It's all about balance remember?

So here it is, a month late, but nevertheless, here is my only resolution this year.

Learn to not be such a social recluse.

I could stay in my house for the rest of my life, and good for me that I don't like cats, because I could totally be 'that cat lady' who smells like moth balls and ammonia. I need to get out more. I grew up doing competitive cheerleading and dance. I was the bright and bubbly athlete, always the show off. But then something changed. I'm sure there is some deep cosmic psychology mumbo jumbo explanation about my childhood and how I resent my mother that explains the change, but I've done some digging, and I've got nothin'. All I can think is that it just became easy. It's too easy to say 'no let's just stay home and watch a movie' or 'no let's just have a lazy weekend'. And then every weekend was a lazy weekend, and I don't have any laundry to do because I've worn the same flannel pants for the past 4 days. I woke up one day and realized, I didn't have any friends left. When you are constantly turning down plans, it is easy for your friends to just stop offering invitations. And I understand. Aaron is my best friend, so the lack of friends really doesn't affect me that much, but I soon realized my lack of friends also diminished my lack of confidence, and with that my ability to function in the world alone.

I am one of those people who would NEVER go to a restaurant by myself. I'd sit in my car and eat on my lunch break before I would sit in a crowded restaurant, alone. Changing this was my only resolution for this year. I don't do uncomfortable. I don't like getting outside of my comfort zone, but if I don't start challenging myself now, then I am always one step closer to being that mothball maiden. I may be comfy in my house, in my fleece pajamas, with yet another season of Vampire Diaries on Netflix, but the world is going to keep going on, with or without me. I want to advance. I want to grow. I want to see things.

Let me tell you a little story. Aaron doesn't sugarcoat anything, and usually he kicks my ass in to gear because not only is the pajama bed-head look not cute, but he knows me so well that he knows better than I do when I am letting myself slip into a funk. And in that funk I am not myself. I let the complacentness take over and thinks get dark, grey, and generally unhappy. Because he knows this, he is not gentle. He does not baby me. He lays it all out there for the taking. Then I cry because me ego is bruised and the double dose of reality is burning my throat as I swallow it. Usually the crying makes him turn into mush. And then he hugs me, and all is right again in the world. But I should preface this story by saying I AM A TOTAL BRAT 99% OF THE TIME.

In July 2010 we went on a cruise, my very first. On the last full day of the cruise we were set to spend the whole day on Coco Cay, a private island owned by Royal Caribbean. There were beautiful crystal blue waters, frozen mixed drinks, and colorful fish, lots of fish! We rented lounging mats, and anticipated spending the whole day backside up, soaking up that gorgeous Bahamian sun. The sun had other plans, and it started raining. And I mean big fat ruin a whole vacation kind of raining! So in true Britt Brat fashion, I sat under my towel, on a lounge chair, in the rain, pouting. Hi, I am Brittany, and I am 4 years old. Aaron gave me about 20 minutes to pout before he told me to get the hell off the chair and get in the water. By this time it had stopped raining, the sun had joined us again, and there was tons of fun to be had. But I was terrified. And I let my social anxiety and fear of the un-planned take over me. I damn near ruined a perfectly good day. After I got over it, we had probably one of my favorite days ever together floating in those beautiful waters loving life and each other. It really could not have been a better moment in my life, and in our lives together.

So what's the point? I don't want to spend every amazing day in my life with a 20 minute pissy appetizer. I don't want to be scared anymore. I want to be strong, independent, and secure enough in myself that I know full well that I can handle anything that comes my way.

So I've been working on it. I've found restaurants to eat at alone. I've made phone calls when an e-mail would have been easier and less uncomfortable. And I've learned to ask for things I know I deserve, instead of just settling for what has been offered to me.

Today I had a kind of my "I did it" moment. I went to Panera for lunch, alone, and enjoyed an absolutely beautiful central Florida day sitting on the outside patio eating my salad and soup. The weather was a perfect 75 degrees, the people watching was up to par, and my food just hit the spot perfectly. The biggest accomplishment was that on the way back to work I realized that not once during my lunch by myself had I thought about the fact that I was alone. I enjoyed myself. And that in itself, is the one thing that tells me that for once in my life I accomplished a resolution, and I am better for it.

Everytime I push myself a little farther I find that the things that scared me before get a little more tolerable everyday. Just keep pushing. Keep finding balance.

I am Brittany, here me roar! Kind of.